Who Am I ?

What kind of person I want to be?

Do you ever wonder about that kind of question ? even a while in your thought?
Or maybe about this question..

What kind of person am I?

I sometimes read that question, I don’t remember where I read that question but to be honest, is that really matter? Is that a big problem? How can you don’t know yourself? Well, when I am in junior high school I used to think like that. But now, it’s totally different.

Lately I’ve been wondering so much about this matter. But more likely to know more about myself. Yes, I live with myself for 19 years old and still counting until now, I live with my body, I live with my thought every single day. But that’s now mean I know everything about myself.

And knowing what kind of person are you is important for me. It gives you information about what will you behave in facing any kind of situation. When you know in particular situation you will act like not it supposed to be, you can warn yourself and change that if it possible. The problem is that not easy as it seems. Maybe it’s a part of adolescence. According to wikipedia, it is a transitional stage of physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to legal adulthood.

I feel like many things happened to me and it bring a lot of changes in me, especially in my emotions. I am more to be sensitive and highly value myself. So when someone say anything like “okay, if you can’t do that project, let me do it by my own” whoaaa.. it boost my energy to prove he’s wrong. I am easily get irritated with others. More likely to have my own impression over someone and how they behave. And with that matters, it drive me to have more things to think. I like to imagine like creating a simulation. If I say blah.. then they must be like this and that.. but it kinda in a more negative way because I create a simulation mostly in a worst probability that might happened. Because of that it seems like more difficult than it should be.

Guys, if you also experienced like me, I think all of your activity might be more stressful.

So please, before it gets worsen, try to think more then relax.

Every time you wake up from your imagination about things that might be happened, try to tell yourself (I suggest you to “talk” not just thinking) like a simple question..

“why you can know things will be happened just the way your imagination create it?” (even you create a good simulation like when you are hoping about something in positive way, it might not happened exactly like that)

“Thinking about a negative version about what might happened just make yourself even more difficult than it will be” (So why prepare to give yourself more burden when you can stay keep calm while facing the truth)

“Sometimes we need to face anything spontaneously” (just give a little bravery to your heart.)

Believe me it’s not going to be easy but it doesn’t mean you can not do it. A little change in you can bring more impact to yourself.

When you have nothing to do, give yourself a reflection.

What kind of person I am?

Well, when it goes to me, the very first thing I notice about myself is I love helping people (disclaimer: I am not trying to be naive, but according to me, that’s the thing that matter the most)

Like when I can help someone, it gives me a “kepuasan pribadi”. That’s satisfaction after helping someone can bring me peace when I do my own task or job. I don’t know what is the correlation but that’s what happen to me. The problem is lately I feel that the desire to help someone sometimes conflicts with the urge to do my own task. In many case I did someone’s job before mine. That’s make me to be a procrastinators sometimes (haha I think we all can be that). The thought that I will treat people as good as that make me have a perception that everybody can treat the same thing to me. But the fact that is just something that must be fixed. Not in those person, but in me. Yes, I do realize that everybody have their own unique way to behave and think. Just because you will do such thing to someone doesn’t mean that they will do the same thing to you. And that’s normal.

So if you more likely to behave like me, I learn how to avoid that ...

It’s 2017, think about yourself more than others. It not drive you to be a selfish person but it kinds like changes you a little bit to value yourself, to remember about your goals, to make you more responsible about your own task, and to avoid disapointment. J

And by this, I hope I can learn about myself more so that I can set what kind of person I want to be next..

My First Year in Uni

“How is the life of a college student?”

The thought of what is the life of a college student haunts me at night when I couldn’t sleep. Honestly, my senior high school life is just very complicated for me. Once, very complicated. A lot of things happened and they went by so fast. People say that in senior high school is the best memories that they have, but maybe it’s just not work for me? But over all, I think those things made me just the way I am now. Without the ups and downs my life will never be like chitato chips (*bhaak)

                Well, now I know what is like to be a college student, exactly an accounting student (*anyone else? =D )

                Firstly, I have to pack all of my stuff because I’m moving to the south of Bali. Yap! I will move to Jimbaran. That means I will stay in a boarding house. And most important thing, that means I have my own room!!! Whoaaahhh.. just like what I always dream!! I don’t know, like almost my friends say that they will miss their family, they will miss their room, they will miss their house or other stuff. But those thought never across my mind. Ya, I know, its not because I don’t miss my family when I’m far away from them (the fact that I miss them so bad!!) but I just too busy thinking what will I do with my room. The other part of me love being alone, I like having time with myself. Its like I can do what I want without anyone will disturb me, I can eat in my bed which is my mother will yell at me if doing that, I can do a movie marathon all day which is my sister sometimes disturb me if she know that or sometime she spoil the film, I can go to the market at 10 pm which is my father would never allow me to do so. Now, I can do all things that I never do before. But yes, I still think if it necessary or not knowing that I’m here because of the college not because I’m in a vacation.

                Second things I love about college is the orientation. Actually I never like the orientation thingy or Ospek. But it is a must so like it or not I must to take it. I got a lot of task, essay, resume but I enjoy it although it cuts my sleep time. I find the silver lining about this event, that we can make friends before we attend the class which is helping us in many ways. Here is when I make an essay about the Airport Ngurah Rai.

okay, this is awkward hehe

yuhuuu =D

End of orientation lv.Uni

End of Inisiasi Akuntansi 2016

When the orientation event is over, it’s time to start the class. I remember the first class was Introduction to Accounting. Firstly, I take the test to join ELC(English Language Class) which is like an international class. And praised to my mother’s prayer that with her blessing I can passed the test. So in the first semester there are 4 subjects in English, which are introduction to accounting, introduction to microeconomics, introduction to business and statistics. First impression about the class, I think that all members is easy going, we learn together, and I love the class discussion because we truly learn about the case or the chapter.

                I would like to say thank you from my deepest heart to Fitri and Agung. I know Agung before Fitri actually, Agung used to be a captain when I join GET (Gema Equilibrium Termuda). He’s humble at first, but he’s an evil when you get to know him (nyahaha). I know Fitri when I join an interview to ELC class. She’s so kindhearted, whenever I don’t get the point of the chapter she tries to explain me. Without them, I don’t have the energy to passed this semester. And here I am waiting for the result. Hope that I can get a good result tho ^^

PS: my first semester in uni is so much better, thanks to God that I can surrounded with people who can inspire me a lot :')